Lessons in not listening pt.2

I shared some personal discouragements with someone the other day, only to have them present me with a long string of Bible verses, pat answers, and Christian clichés; it came so quick, that I wonder if the person was ever listening to begin with.

On another occasion, I was with a friend who disclosed to me a lot of their weaknesses and failures. They confessed faults that you would not expect from a person of such “spiritual stature.” There was no real resolve, or Christian “zinger” to make the story end well. Just an old-fashioned complaint, couched in real angst, almost permitting me to feel human. Imagine that.

I long for my conversations to look like the latter example. Sometimes they don’t. There are a lot of ways to “bless” someone into a deeper grief; I am beginning to realize more and more that what I crave most in difficult times is two-fold: a listener, and a safe environment to be real.

How about you?

About Lazo

Lazo is the pastor for preaching and vision at Reality SB. He is committed to spreading the value of our union with Christ in Santa Barbara, through the expository preaching of God's Word. You might like these blog posts, 5 Wrong Ways To Comfort Hurting People, or Daisy Love and the Magic Eraser. You can follow Chris on twitter at @LazoChris.

Posted on August 2, 2013, in personal and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I’ve definitely caught myself not being a very good listener on several occasions lately. Usually it’s me interrupting someone with a semi-related story of my own, or just getting caught up in my own thoughts and only half-listening to the other person. Thanks for the reminder!

  2. I couldn’t agree more! I often find that done really dont want to hear it they are too busy to slow down and help a brother and sister when they are needing a “helping heart” my prayer is for me to look at each conversation as a appt w the Spirit and brother/sister in a Triune Dance. I’m here 😊

    Sent from my iPhone

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